I think I need to start this chapter describing the “War on Money” that had been waging for several years. After almost all the banks had gone bankrupt a few years back, the people in charge tried to make almost all money illegal except for the NAM (New American Money) electronic payment system. Theoretically, all forms of paper money were withdrawn from circulation. You could bring in under a hundred dollars in cash into a bank every six months, provided you did not draw on it for two years.
All the old assets (bank accounts, life insurance assets, stocks, retirement accounts, and bonds) that still had value could be transferred into NAM, provided that you could prove the assets were legal. The cost of these examinations was usually about half of the deeply discounted current value. And all of the government entities were still bankrupt as well. Transferring assets into the current money system was a painful process. Assets you could measure by checking a web page were by and large worthless. Legal assets, such as functioning businesses or paid-in-full houses and land retained their full value, provided you still had the legal NAM money to keep them operational. It was a rare person whose assets made if from “before” to “after” without losing just about everything.
The problem facing our family was that all of these new assets (illegal drugs, cash, diamonds, other jewelry, gold, silver, platinum, guns, and ammo) were pretty illegal. The challenge was to somehow convert these assets into legal accounts that could be used for starting a business. It looked pretty hopeless to me. I did not know how to launder money. I guessed that any rookie mistake would put me in prison for years. Worse, many jurisdictions could not afford to keep prisons or prisoners, and just executed people when someone needed a liver transplant.
My dear wife said, “Selling bulk diamonds is illegal, selling jewelry retail is quite legal.” I told her, “No one wants diamonds, or diamond rings anymore. When the economy crashed, everyone tried to raise funds by selling diamonds. So the price fell by a factor of ten and never recovered.” She sighed (like she does when she is talking to an idiot) and said, “The price dropped years ago. If you buy wholesale at today's prices and sell retail at today's prices, you can still make money. As long as the price balances the buying and selling demand, you can sell jewelry. All you need to do is to keep adding some from our stock to the legal purchases, and you can run a store and make legal profits.”
Then she added, “I have a cousin who has some interesting friends. I found out that there is a criminal underground that wants cash, drugs, and precious metals. They would love to trade them for diamonds and other items they think is junk. We might have a very profitable business selling diamonds.” I reacted sharply, saying, “US paper money has been withdrawn from circulation. It is worthless. Anyone who says it has a premium value is crazy. I would be lucky to get 8 cents on the dollar for this stuff.” Faith looked me in the eye and said, “You are very wrong. What you do not know is that other nations have collapsed even more than the US did. For example, a single hundred dollar bill has massive purchasing power in Bolivia. These things have value.” I replied, “Great, but we do not live in Bolivia. We are in Portland fucking Oregon.”
Faith got real quiet. She said, “Let me explain what we can do. My cousin is in touch with business people who buy their popular product from Bolivia. The Bolivians want US currency, preferably one hundred dollar bills. They also want precious metals. They do not want diamonds. Why? Because you get some diamonds and then some jewelry expert says there is a microscopic flaw and they can only pay one-tenth what you first thought it was worth. So we get a good value for our cash and precious metals, and we get loads of diamonds cheap. We sell the diamonds here in Portland, and wholesale them all over the west coast. My cousin will make the exchanges and only wants 2% of the sale price, whether retail or wholesale. He trusts us. We can write things up, so he owns 3% of our store. My cousin has a large extended family at the edge of starvation and slavery. He will be very trustworthy and honest in exchange for a flow of funds he can use to support a lot of good people. Oh, I forgot to say that we keep the guns and ammo to help defend the jewelry store we open. I am still working out what to do with the heroin, cocaine and the bulk marijuana, but maybe we can give it away as wedding presents as our college buddies get married. I'm sorry, I should stay serious. I think we will be able to barter some important items with the drugs. Let's find some good, deep storage so we can access them when we need them. But maybe we should pull out a few ounces for personal use.”
I sat back and wondered how my wife got so smart. I just said, “I would like for your cousin over for dinner soon. We have a lot to talk about.” Faith said, “He is coming to dinner on Friday night. Is that soon enough?”
We started scouting out locations. We wanted an empty store in a good downtown area that we could extensively remodel. Ruth found an ideal location. We build a hidden sleeping area in the back with disguised gun ports and sights to blast away any midnight intruders. The location for bulk diamonds was a bit of fake plumbing. Every aspect of the store was focused on security. We built a mock-up of the store for our basement. Everyone, including the older kids, practiced shooting and killing intruders. We burned a lot of plywood in our backyard to hide all the bullet holes in our targets.
We opened the store as soon as possible. We had enough savings for the remodeling, the first six month's rent, and an initial stock of diamonds. Of course, we augmented that with some of the diamonds we already had from our stock of contraband. At the time, other stores sold jewelry as a sideline. We focused on jewelry and undercut everyone one else in town. Soon, just about everyone else stopped even trying to compete with us. When anyone asked about our low prices, we just said we purchased in volume and sold a lot to other jewelers in other cities to help keep prices as low as possible.
In the old days, a fine one-karat diamond sold for $6,000 to $12,000. With the crash in prices, we would sell a better one-caret ring for $800. Since diamonds still had quite a bit of caché of wealth, we got a steady stream of business from aspiring people who wanted to look wealthy, even if they were not quite so well off. We turned around the marketing for diamonds. Rather than tell men that a diamond was the ideal gift for a woman, we emphasized the practical side of owning a diamond ring for both men and women. We showed how a one or two-karat ring would help get a job or a spouse because you would be perceived as being “a better person.” In these days of quiet despair, selling a big diamond ring gave some people hope. Anyway, we sold enough hope to fatten our legal bank account.
This new approach of marketing big diamond rings was reflected in the store's name, Diamonds for Success. At home, our private slogan was, You Can Shove Your Success up Your Ass. This created the acronym YCSYSUYA, which we pronounced this as yuck-see-sue-yah. Of course, this was based on Faith's simple explanation about the best use of diamonds. This secret name was a big hit with the kids, who loved an acronym that included the word “ass” and seemed to so thoroughly insult the customer, the product, and the marketing message. But even we adults liked having a secret name. We sometimes referred to the merchandise as yuck-see, a potential customer as a sue-ya, a very big diamond and “a very yucky object,” and a dead robber as “someone who lost their lawsuit.” We quickly developed our own private language.
The arrangements with Faith's cousin (who I will not name in this book) went smoothly. We learned that we were to produce bundles of cash and precious metals which would be worth about $55,000 in Bolivia. In return, we got a bag of diamonds that could be sold retail for about $400,000. Since diamond prices were depressed by a factor of ten from the old pre-collapse days, this meant that we got a bag of diamonds with over a thousand karats, or about half a pound of diamonds. We were moving a serious amount of yucky merchandise.
Running the store was interesting. We usually had a girl or a woman run the store, with someone else hiding in the back holding a gun, waiting for trouble. Since I did a lot of hiding, and very little selling, I never got tired of seeing a customer coming in and realizing the entire staff at the store was a young slave girl. Bobbie and Mary were our best salespeople since they went through so much to get yuck-see-sue-ya started. Sometimes Samantha Barnes joined the girls in the shop. We disguised her with a fake slave collar. No matter how “enlightened” people were, they would still tend to treat slaves as objects, rather than people. Even though Samantha Barnes' face was on TV, posters, and newspapers for months, no one recognized her in our store.
To get in, the customer would need to go through two locked doors. In between, we had one of the best gun detection machines we could buy. The only way to rob our store was a “smash and grab.” Every time this happened, we made sure the thief held the goods for enough seconds so the video would justify the shooting. Each time this happened, we made sure the thief was dead, and all the merchandise was secure before calling the police. We did not want any police to try to pick up any loose bargains. We posted photos of the blasted corpse on a corner of our window display addressed to potential thieves. Once the body count was six, they stopped trying to rob us. I shot four of them, Bobbie got one, and Ruth got the one. While we hated taking any human life but protecting our family was our highest priority. No person working in the store ever got a scratch. We had to mop the store and replace some display cases a few times. We left the bullet holes on the walls as a reminder to potential thieves. The bodies were always unclaimed, so I used our pickup truck to take them to a local pig farm that accepted such items. It was all part of the great circle of life.
One night Bobbie was running the store by herself. She let someone in who was a thief. He had a big rock and was about to slam it on a display case. Bobbie threw a knife into his upper arm. He collapsed on the floor, bleeding and cursing, as he rolled around the floor. Bobbie pulled a large gun and explained, “I am going to shoot you in the leg to prove this gun is real. Or you can stay still and be silent.” She pulled out the knife and threw it into the back of the store. She pulled his backpack away. Bobbie used a paper bag and tape to cover his eyes. She carefully explained, “I have a knife and a gun within easy reach, do not try anything and lie there perfectly still.” She ripped apart his shirt. Bobbie reassured the thief, “As long as you do not touch me, I will sew up the wound and save your life. Touch me, and you are dead in two seconds. If you give me your address, I will arrange for a liquor store to deliver two bottles of whiskey to your house.” She sewed him up and bandaged the wound. She turned his old shirt into a sling, and gave him an old ratty shirt from the back of the store and sent him on his way. Bobbie calmly picked up the store phone and placed the order for two bottles of cheap booze to be sent “super express” to the thief's address. She then mopped up the blood and closed the store early. Watching the video was amazing. It all took 23 minutes. She later told me, “I have killed one person and helped kill another. I just did not want to kill someone else that night. I hope you are not mad at me for saving a thief's life.”
I told her, “Bobbie, you did well. The reason I prefer thieves dead is that keeps family members safe. It also keeps the police investigation to be as short as possible. Your action to send him home kept you safe and resulted in no police investigation at all. I just hope his wound does not get infected. That would be very bad for all of us. Can you arrange for a nurse to visit him in two days just to make sure that he is healing appropriately?” Bobbie nodded yes, but I could tell that she started to realize that these issues of life and death were trickier than she first thought. If the police investigated why someone died from a knife wound, and a family member or friend could relate what had happened, it would get our family into deep trouble. Bobbie bit her lip and went to bed. As it turned out, the gentleman did not die, but we needed to swap some of our illegal drugs for medical care and antibiotics.
We did find another use for the illegal drugs. We used them to bribe some of the drug users in the downtown area to alert us to possible thieves. I would try to track people down and tell them not to try it. Sometimes I would visit with the thief with the shoulder wound. I would leave some photos of the bloody corpses in our store and some photos of happy pigs. I asked if they wanted their family to learn that their beloved was recycled as pork. I know I saved about a dozen lives that way.
As soon as it was practical, we purchased and freed Ruth's parents. Soon after that, we purchased and freed Quincy's parents. All four of them were getting close to “retirement” age. For a slave, this is an uncertain time when survival depended on luck and skills they never needed before. With no savings and no continuing economic value, a “retiring” slave was left on the streets to depend on charity if they were lucky. If they were unlucky, their owners would sell them to illegal medical scavengers. We were all happy to pull them away from that fate. We did set them into adjacent apartments close to Emperor’s Palace restaurant. All four worked there after we freed them. Every two weeks (when the restaurant was closed), we picked them up and took them to our house for a dinner meal. As would be expected, all of the conversations were in Mandarin. They affectionately called Faith, “Our curly haired daughter.” They blessed Faith and me for saving their lives. They refused to stop working at the restaurant, no matter how old they got. While the four of them were a handful sometimes (they were naive about the responsibilities of being free), they gave us a taste of the rewards of freeing slaves. When the opportunity came, we freed many additional slaves.
September 2049 brought the third marriage of my sister Jennie. She was thirty-five years old. Her first two marriages had gone badly. These occurred when she was quite young. At a social function a few years ago, she met Fred Plotkin, a local high school teacher. Faith and Ruth were convinced that Jennie had finally broken the cycle of falling for people who wanted to exploit her. Fred was a kind soul who wanted a stable partner, and little else. Jennie had been doing a very good job overseeing the suppliers we used to prepare and mount the diamonds that we sold retail. Her skill in supervising so many complicated relationships gave her the tools to enter into a personal relationship with confidence. As of the first printing of this book (2073), Fred and Jennie are a year away from celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary.
After being in the business for a year, I realized one of the reasons we were not being investigated. Very powerful people were doing what we were doing: mixing illegal assets with legal assets in a legitimate business. If the police investigated these sorts of crimes, they would always end up confronting powerful forces. There were a lot of crooked bankruptcies with bribed judges. Good people lost their businesses, and the “insiders” ended up with the good assets. We tried our best to steer clear of any entanglement with the wrong people.
After 18 months of operation, we got messages that some “important people” wanted to invest in our business. We knew our days were numbered. So we quietly accelerated our operation to clear out the last of our contraband. We sat down with these “important people” and showed them our financial books. It was not a surprise that the “important people” turned out to be Mr. Sears and his thugs. We valued our business at three million dollars, based on our profits. We were offered 1.3 million and told that it would be unwise to turn down the offer.
Faith and I took leave of the meeting to discuss the “offer.” I said, “This is an insult. Mr. Sears does not even remember that he killed my parents. He does not know who I am. I am not going to have him walk all over me again. We have to nail this murdering asshole.” Faith replied, “Dear, the business is not worth what they are offering. We are cheating him. You can kill him later. For now, just take their money. You do not want anyone else to be stuck with our store without our stockpile of contraband. Just take the money quietly.” We accepted the offer, knowing that the new management would be unable to make any profit unless they pulled the same stunt we did. And maybe they were. We never heard from them again. I did pay close attention to all the details. I kept track of every name, phone number, car license plate that came up during that transaction.
I had a few thoughts about high finance through all of this. I knew that the main reason why we were never investigated for financial crimes is that we did not fall for the obvious temptation. Many people with similar businesses tried to avoid taxes by accepting valuables for full or partial payment for their goods. By selling or trading these valuables, they tried to avoid paying taxes on their income. We were constantly offered all kinds of items instead of regular NAM payments for our diamonds. It was expected. We always refused. I think that is one of the reasons why we were so popular. Customers needed their valuables for special situations. Using NAM was always preferred since the government was always taking out taxes and fees. You got charged for getting money, spending money, or letting your money pile up in your NAM account. We wanted it since we needed a legal source of funds.
The government was always watching for the sale or trade of valuables. By not being involved in this, no one suspected a thing. We never accepted any “luxury shower curtain,” like so many other businesses. The cops never asked if the guns used to kill thieves were legal. They just took the video and photos of the robberies and declared that the case was closed. If any thief had lived, there would be a more careful investigation. So we were careful on that front as well. We all trained on how to keep shooting until it was clear that there was nothing left alive. Occasionally the cops would say, “Boy, you guys have a lot of ammo!” We would smile and nod and say, “Yes officer, you are right on that score.”
I also started wondering about the state of international finance. The newspapers and electronic media always pointed out that the only money accepted for international trade was a gold backed currency. NAM was not gold backed, so they set up the ITD system. ITD stood for International Trade Dollars, the currency system that allowed America to purchase goods from abroad. Backing the ITD system required confiscating all domestic gold, silver, and other precious metals. I never found any mention of international trade financed by bundles of hundred dollar bills. I guessed that the government lost the technology to print money anymore with all the anti-counterfeiting technology developed when I was an infant. The lack of additional print runs might explain why the hundred dollar bill was used so heavily in international trade.
I was able to read Bolivian newspapers from a few sources. They were quite open about mentioning that Bolivia bought vast amounts of oil with hundred dollar bills. Bolivia used the oil to barter for goods from all over the world. They were careful to purchase industrial goods so that Bolivia was one of the industrial powerhouses of the world. So what did the oil-producing nations do with all those hundred dollar bills? It appears they used them to purchase goods from Europe and Japan. I finally realized that the oil-producing states were buying weapon systems from the Former United States of America with crates of hundred dollar bills. So there were entities in FUSA using hundred dollar bills as a form of currency for international transaction. I started to realize how little the average citizen knows about how the businesses of war, drugs, and commerce were locked in a deadly embrace.
Before I started a jewelry store, I thought hundred dollar bills were almost worthless. They had been withdrawn from circulation. I was just a tiny part of the business of bartering contraband goods, but it opened my eyes to the reality of modern finance. I suspected that in many, many places, they just weighed boxes of hundred dollar bills. It would take too many hours to count them all. As successful as we were, we never operated at that level. We always counted out each and every hundred dollar bill that we ever sent off on its journey to Bolivia and beyond.